By Erin Most BSN RN Healthscribe Gardens
Telling your family and partner that you’re pregnant
For many women, pregnancy is a joyous occasion with maybe some concerns and fears of the coming changes and unknowns. But with an unexpected pregnancy, these concerns can be more at the forefront of your mind than joy due to feelings of shame, disappointment, or regret. An unexpected pregnancy can be a shock to you, your family, and your partner. Telling them may be scary, overwhelming, and even something you do not want to do. It’s natural to feel these things, but with some planning beforehand, you can enter these conversations with more confidence.
Take time to reflect
How are you feeling about your pregnancy? Fearful, worried, excited? All of these are normal. Taking time to reflect on your feelings will give you clarity and better prepare you for handling the emotions of others.
Consider your options
You do not need to make a decision right away about your pregnancy. Take time to consider your options first and consider how each one would affect your life. There are 3 paths one can choose when pregnant: making an adoption plan, parenting or ending the pregnancy through abortion. You are welcome to come to Heart to Heart to have someone think through these choices with you. Once you have thought through your options, it will be easier on you if it is brought up during the conversation with your partner and family.
Plan your conversation
Would it be better to have separate conversations with your partner and parents? This option would give each party the space they need to process through the news without pressure or accusations from other sides.
Practice some phrases that will help you express yourself while acknowledging your parents’ and partner’s feelings:
- “I know this may come as a shock to you, but I wanted to let you know that I’m pregnant.”
- “I have some exciting and scary news: I’m pregnant.”
- “You can imagine how scary this is for me to share with you, but I am pregnant and would really love your support in figuring out what I am going to do.”
If you have concerns about abuse in your relationship, consider reaching out to the National Abuse Hotline for professional guidance. If you have immediate safety concerns, call 911.
Plan the setting
It may never feel like the perfect time and place to share your pregnancy news, but with a little consideration you may find some options for when would be a good time. Pick a comfortable and private location for each party. For example, your parents and partner might do best hearing the news in their own homes. When choosing a time, try to pick a time when everyone is relaxed and receptive, when you will not be rushed for time, and when everyone is in a good head space like a weekend or a quiet evening.
It can be helpful to plan an exit strategy. If things become too heated or too emotional, it is okay to take a break and revisit the conversation later. Practice some phrases that give you the space you need while acknowledging your parent’s and partner’s feelings.
- “I realize this is difficult news, so I’m going to leave. I’m ready to talk when you are.”
- “I know you don’t mean any harm, but I don’t feel like you are hearing me right now. Let’s talk again when we’re both ready.”
- “I understand if you need some space to take this all in. I can answer your questions once we both have had some time to process.”
You are not alone
Although these conversations may be difficult, planning and preparing ahead of time will make all the difference. No matter how your loved ones respond, Heart to Heart Pregnancy Center is here to support you. We offer pregnancy resources, including pregnancy tests, ultrasound, and more at no cost to you.
Contact us today to schedule your appointment and get the care and support you deserve.